What's not said
by amateur-hourd
Summary: They were stuck in her throat. All she had to do was blurt them out. Come on, three little words.
1. First Try

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Pitch Perfect, only the plot line. I know, it's depressing. **

**_Beca's first failures at trying to say "I Love You"_**

_11:44 a.m. - Saturday_

"Geez Jesse, I'm fine, I can walk."

"You sprained your ankle! It might even be broken. We've got to take you to the hospital."

"It's fine! It's not broken, just let me down."

She started squirming so much, he had no choice, but as soon as her foot touched the ground, Beca let out a loud yelp and a pained look crossed her face.

"That's it," Jesse said with a hard look at Beca, "We're going to the hospital." He quickly scoops her up again before she can protest.

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it, Bec."

He's relieved when he sees Benji across the quad. "Benji! Can we burrow your car?"

"Yeah, of course. What happened to Beca?" Benji asks with a worried look on his face.

"She hurt her ankle. It might be broken."

"It is _not. _It's_ fine." _

"And she's being stubborn."

"Benji, tell Jesse it's no big deal," she sends a pleading look to Benji. "He's blowing things way out of proportion."

"Sorry, Beca," Benji said, "But it looks pretty serious; I can see your ankle swelling up already."

They were making their way to the car; a panicked looking Benji and a serious looking Jesse with a struggling Beca in his arms. They're about thirty feet away when Fat Amy takes a good look at the sight and struts over.

"This looks like two evil Trebles kidnapping our Bella captain to go tie her up in a bag and find a lake to throw her in…you boys need help?"

"Amy!" Beca shouts with an exasperated look on her face.

"Just messing with you, Shawshank! I'm going to rescue you with my super fat dingo wrestling skills," Amy states proudly. "The kraken is about to be unleashed!"

Beca takes a moment to process this and then shakes her head, "Amy, Jesse and Benji are overreacting to a _minor _sprain. Tell them it's no big deal."

Jesse scoffs, "Right. Tell me this is 'no biggie', Amy." He shows her Beca's ankle which is now an ugly shade of purple. Beca herself isn't looking so hot either; she has sweat on her temple and her face is pale.

"Yeah, um, _yeah, _Shawshank you might want to get that checked out."

Beca mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'traitor'.

They reach Benji's car and while he gets into the driver's seat, Fat Amy calls shotgun. Jesse opens the back door to carefully lay Beca down across the two seats, runs to the other side, and gently lifts Beca's feet onto his lap when he sits down.

The ten minute car ride to the hospital is spent with Fat Amy showing off her wrestling scars and explaining how she got each one, Benji trying to focus on the road and not the incredibly inappropriate scar placements, and Beca scowling with her arms crossed, trying to ignore the pain and the way her skin tingled where Jesse was carefully examining her injury.

Beca's in Jesse's arms again once they reach the hospital and get out of the car.

"Don't you get tired of carting me around everywhere?" She huffs.

Jesse grins, "You're tiny. And I'm your big, buff boyfriend. It's my job to cart you around everywhere."

Beca scoffs, "You're not that buff. Luke's _way _more packed than you are."

"I know you don't mean that," Jesse says with amusement written all over his face. His brow then furrows. "You look really pale, Bec. I know your ankle is hurting you more than you're showing right now."

"Kind of. Maybe. Yeah, it hurts like a bitch." Beca releases a pained groan as she rests her head on his shoulder. She smiles softly when she feels him kiss her head lightly.

Benji comes back from the front desk, having made a bee-line for it as soon as they had entered the hospital. "Okay, we're gonna have to wait a bit, but don't worry, I brought my magic kit to make time pass faster."

"_Yeah,"_ Fat Amy drawls, "I'm going to go see what they have in the cafeteria….anyone have any cash?"

Benji sighs when she stares directly at him, "Sure. But I only have a fift-" The bill's snatched out of his hands as soon as it's out of his wallet. "Okay then, I'm gonna go look for the bathroom. It was actually where I was headed before, well, yeah. Be right back."

Jesse finds a couch to set Beca down and then sits on the arm rest next to her head.

"We really don't need to be here, Jesse."

"Are you still going to complain about this? We're here, Beca. And you can barely walk. I'm certainly not going to take you back to campus. So, unless you want to try hopping on one foot…"

"I get it. Fine. Nerd."

"I'm starting to think that calling me that is your defense mechanism whenever you can't think of anything witty or sarcastic to say."

"….Weirdo."

Jesse rolls his eyes, "How'd this happen to you, anyway?"

Beca's just staring at him. "You just rolled your eyes at me. That's _my _thing!"

"Beca, focus. I was on my way to your dorm when I saw you on a bench trying not to pass out. And how are you still conscious right now?"

She stares down at her ankle. "It doesn't hurt as much anymore. I think it's gone numb."

"Beca," Jesse says more forcefully, "How long were you on that bench? What happened?"

She heaves a big sigh, "I _fell_, okay? I tripped down some stairs." She mutters the last part, embarrassed.

Jesse tries to hold in a snort but fails miserably. "So, I guess your bad-ass rep went out the window after that, huh?"

"Shut-up," Beca mutters trying a hold down a smile.

She's on the verge of falling asleep with her head on Jesse's thigh and his hand running through her hair when a nurse calls her name.

She comes out with a wheelchair and heads for the couple in the waiting room. Jesse helps Beca onto the seat and the nurse starts to wheel her toward the examination room.

"Wait! No, he has to come with us." Beca says, suddenly pale again.

The nurse concedes and not a half-second later, Jesse's walking with them.

Once they're in the room, they take x-ray shots of Beca's ankle and the nurse asks them to wait a minute for the results and walks out of the room.

Jesse worriedly strokes Beca's cheek when he sees that she's gone pale again. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"I don't like hospitals," Becas says with a scowl on her face. "They're just so cold and mechanic."

"We'll be out of here soon enough. They're gonna need to put you in a cast though." Beca just groans.

The nurse comes back with results and it turns out that her ankle is not broken, but it is badly sprained. An hour later, after the doctor has taken her prognosis and Beca's ankle is put into a cast, they can finally leave.

"Good thing your insurance covers the crutches," Jesse says once they're out in the waiting room again.

"Look, Jesse! Look at my walking sticks!"

"Aaaaand the painkillers are obviously a plus," Jesse says while trying not to laugh as Beca stares down at her crutches with a look of fascination on her face.

"Ey, Shawshank. How's the ankle? I would've picked a more _pop out_ color, but I guess white's cool. The color of…peace, yeah." Fat Amy's walking toward them with a grin on her face and Benji's trailing behind her looking mentally scarred.

Jesse chuckles, "What's with the look, Benji?"

"Amy was just telling me some very _interesting_ stories about her life in Tasmania. Ones that I would very much not like to relive again if that's okay," Benji says with a nauseous look on his face.

"Ehh," Fat Amy shrugs.

"Let's leave! I wanna watch a movie." Beca says excitedly.

Jesse looks at the other two seriously, "Yes, we must leave. I need to take advantage of this. Maybe even record it afterwards. Do you have any idea what this means for our progress in movication?"

"…Are you sure you're not the one drugged?" Amy asks looking suspiciously at Jesse. "And where can I get some?"

Once they get back to campus, Fat Amy turns to Beca. "Don't bother waiting up for me, Shawshank. I have a 'study date', if you know what I mean." Beca just smiles and gives her a thumbs-up.

"Bye Amy. Thanks for the ride, Benji. I'm gonna stay over at Beca's tonight," Jesse says.

Benji nods as he helps Jesse help Beca out of the car and then turns around to head to his dorm, "See you guys tomorrow."

Jesse starts heading over to Beca and Amy's dorm when he realizes that his girlfriend isn't following him.

Beca's wearing a look of intense concentration on her face as she stares down at her cast.

"Bec? Everything okay there?"

Beca lifts her head to stare up at Jesse. "I don't know how to walk, Jesse! Where did my foot go?"

Jesse laughs out loud, "You're supposed to use the walking sticks, Bec. But you know what? I don't think you're in any shape to mobilize yourself with those right now. Hang on, climb onto my back." He crouches down low so that she won't have to put much effort into hopping on one foot. "There you go. Now hold tight, okay?"

Beca nods and Jesse starts walking once he picks up her crutches, trying to balance them on one hand while holding on to Beca's right leg with the other.

When they finally get to her dorm, he lets her down to unlock the door with the key he manages to find in his girlfriend's back pocket after a couple of minutes ("I have a key?") and is trying not to burst out laughing at the way she had hissed, "Not in public, Jesse!" when she thought he was trying to grope her while searching. Not that he denied it.

Half an hour later, she's passed out on Jesse's shoulder after having watched a good twenty minutes of _The Breakfast Club_ and when the movie's over, Jesse promptly does the same.

_8:56 p.m._

Beca wakes to the feeling of Jesse's hand running through her hair and the battle noises playing from his laptop. "Seriously? Troy? Isn't that movie, like, three hours long? How can you keep watching it?"

"Sorry, did I wake you? And this is only my third time. It's a good movie, Bec."

She just sighs and buries her head into his chest. "No, you didn't wake me. I'm just not tired anymore."

"How are you feeling? Do you need any more meds? Though, I wouldn't recommend them. If you accuse me of groping you one more time, you might bring out the rape whistle," he chuckled.

Beca frowns, "I said what? And no, thanks, I'm fine. You didn't have to stay, you know."

"Are you kidding? I don't even want to think about what it would have been like if I had left you on your own while you were drugged up on meds," Jesse jokes.

Beca snorts into his shirt. "I am always in my right state of mind, nerd. Meds, or no meds."

"Riggghhhtttt," he says lifting her chin up. "I have some pretty good blackmail, you know. It involves a recording of you admitting that our movication is basically what you live for," he laughs, kissing the pout off her face.

"I did not say that. It may not be the most horrible thing on the planet, but I in no way, shape, or form have admitted to actually _liking _it," Beca says rolling her eyes.

"Nope. You said you _loved _it," Jesse says smugly. "But seriously though, Bec, is your ankle okay?"

Beca heaves a loud sigh, "Yes nerd, my ankle's fine." She reaches up and gives him a thorough, languid kiss. Because even though she acts annoyed, she really does find it sweet that he worries so much. She likes the fact that Jesse's never afraid to show how much he cares for her. When he first spotted her on the bench, she remembers how his eyes lit up when he saw her, but as soon as the look of pain on her face registered, he had picked up his pace and practically run over anyone who was in his way. As soon as he had seen her ankle, he had picked her up despite her many protests and ignored all the stares they had received on their way to the quad.

She had seen it in the car, too. The reverent look on his face, as he had carefully situated her ankle on his lap, and proceeded to gently run his fingers over the swollen skin. Trying not to focus on the pain, she had sat there and watched him. Jesse's face had always been expressive but she had seen it so clearly then. It had almost scared her. He cared for her a lot. He would carry her for miles and miles if it meant that she wouldn't be putting too much pressure on a strained ankle.

And then at the hospital, when he was checking her face every few seconds to check for any indication of pain or discomfort. And if there was any, he would be there, pushing back a strand of hair from her eyes or intertwining his hand with hers and squeezing. God, she loved him.

As soon as this thought registers in her mind, she freezes. Jesse had pushed her back onto the bed, mindful of her ankle, and was now kissing her neck. Her hand has frozen in the middle of stroking his hair and for a minute she just stares at the ceiling with wide eyes. As soon as he senses something's wrong, he puts his weight on his elbows beside her head and looks at her.

"Beca? What is it? Is it your ankle?"

She snaps out of her daze, "What? No, no. I just…remembered that I…have to call my dad…for something."

"Okay," Jesse says with an adorably confused look on his face. "So, you want to call him now?"

"Um, no. I'll call him tomorrow," she says pulling him down to her lips again.

So, she's in love with Jesse. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise really. She knew what she was getting into from the beginning. He had always been the exception to all of her rules. Don't let anyone in, except Jesse. Don't talk about your family problems with anyone, except Jesse. Don't fall in love 'cause it's stupid and useless; except that with Jesse, it wasn't. And if she was being honest with herself, her heart had known she loved him for a long time now. Her mind has just recently caught up. She sounds like such a cliché right now.

She knew he loved her, too. He had never said it, but she could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at her. She could remember at least a dozen times where he had opened his mouth to say it, but at the last minute had quoted some dumb movie instead. She knew why he wouldn't say it. He didn't want to scare her. They had only been an official couple for a few months and it would be moving too fast. Except that, it didn't feel that way.

Jesse had always known her so well. He knew she wasn't ready. He could see the glint of fear in her eyes when he would almost come out and say it. But he could also see the hopeful look in them. He was waiting for her. He was waiting for her to be able to accept it wholeheartedly and maybe even say it back.

And now that she's accepting it completely, she will. She'll tell him, because he's been so patient with her and he deserves to know.

Beca pulls away breathless from their kiss and cups Jesse's face in her hands. "Jesse, I-"

Except that she can't say the words. They were stuck in her throat. All she had to do was blurt them out. Come on, three little words.

"I-"

Jesse's now really confused. "Yeah?"

Beca gulps, "I think my ankle is hurting a bit. Do you have my meds?" A coward. She's a coward.

Jesse pulls back to rummage through the drawer where he had stashed her meds and hands her a pill with a bottle of water.

"Thanks," She says swallowing the pill. She has to try again. "Jesse, I have to tell you something. I-"

Her phone rings and she exhales heavily. The caller ID says it's Amy. "What's up, Amy?"

"Yeah, just wanted to remind you that we have a Bella meeting tomorrow at ten a.m. sharp. I know that you get distracted with your Treble and whatever kinky shit you two do when I'm not around and I wouldn't want you to miss any more rehearsals."

"Amy! That only happened once! I'll be there tomorrow."

"Cool. Bye, Shawshank."

"Amy saying inappropriate things again?" Jesse asks with an amused look on his face.

Beca shrugs, "Eh. Could have been worse."

"So, what did you want to tell me?"

Beca sighs, "I want to watch another movie. Maybe _Breakfast Club_, again?" It just wasn't the right time. He might think she's high on meds again.

Jesse smiles, "Sure. As long as you don't pass out halfway through it."

She chuckles, "No promises."

He puts the movie in and settles down against the pillows, then pulls her into his arms. Beca rests her head on his chest and breathes in his smell. _Do guys always smell this good?_

Just as the movie's starting and she feels him run his fingers through her hair, she thinks, _I love you. _

**_Review? Do it for Jesse and Beca!_**


	2. Wrong Timing

**_First chapter story! Don't really know where I'm going with this, or how long it'll take for Beca to get over some emotional issues, but let's just wish her luck. _**

_A Month and a half later_

_Wednesday afternoon_

"I still think we should do more chest thrusts," Fat Amy says, doing a few demonstrations.

Stacie grins, "I second that. I totally have the boobs to pull that off."

"Um, I'm not really that comfortable with those," Jessica says shyly.

Ashley smirks, "We just need to get you drunk. Like last time."

"Then it's on. We'll do a few shots before going onstage and go crazy," Cynthia Rose says with a smirk.

Beca just sighs, "No, we're not doing that. The one time we did was a disaster."

"But I promise not to fall off the stage this time!"

"Alrighty then. How about we pick up where we left off on Monday. I'm tired and all of you awesome nerds look tired, too." Beca walks over to the bleachers and picks up her bag and iPod dock, ignoring Amy's yell of "Yes, no more cardio!"

The rest of the Bellas sigh in relief and start collecting their things. All of them enjoyed Bella rehearsal, but creating the choreography was exhausting and they had been there for almost four hours.

Fat Amy is the first one out the door. "See you, flat-butts!"

Beca waves bye to the other girls and leaves the auditorium. She quickly stops by her dorm room to shower, looking over worriedly at Fat Amy, who has collapsed on the floor next to her bed, and then heads outside again after making sure her friend was still breathing.

She's power walking across campus, not that she'd ever admit it, to head over to Jesse's dorm. Neither of them had classes the next day and Benji was out of town, visiting his parents. So they were just going to hang. And chill. And do other stuff. She couldn't wait. She had missed him this last week; classes and a-capella rehearsals had kept them both busy. And Beca is not a happy person when she hasn't received Jesse-affection for a while. This kind of shit doesn't fly.

She doesn't really care if she comes off as desperate when she jumps him as soon as he opens the door. Her arms wrap around his neck as her legs wrap around his waist and his yelp of surprise is muffled against her lips. His arms immediately wrap around her waist while his foot closes the door and then Jesse carries her over to his bed. Once she's been laid down and he's hovering over her, supporting his weight on his forearms by her head, he breathes against her lips, "Hello to you too, beautiful."

She fails to hold in a snort and reattaches their lips. Jesse nips on her bottom lip and then runs his tongue along it to soothe the sting. Beca wastes no time in giving him access to her mouth and moans as his tongue intertwines with hers. In between short breaths and battling tongues, Jesse starts singing, _"Won't you come see about me?" _She half opens her eyes to find his half-lidded ones already staring at her. There's a challenging glint in them and she's way ahead of him. _"I'll be alone, dancing, you know it baby," _she sings breathlessly against his lips.

It's a game they play, usually with their couple song (though she would never admit they actually had their own song). One of them would start singing a verse and the other had to continue with the lyrics that followed. Meanwhile, the one who wasn't singing had to try distracting the other enough to cut them off or make them forget the lyrics. She doesn't remember when they started doing this, but it's a game they like to play once in a while. Yeah, this would be one of the _kinks_ Amy had accused them of having.

Jesse starts running his hands up and down her sides, barely grazing her breasts, _"Tell me your troubles and doubts." _Beca arches up against him and runs her hand up his shirt, running her nails down the muscles of his back, _"Giving me everything inside and out."_

Jesse peppers kisses down her jaw line and sucks along her neck, _"Love's strange, so real in the dark."_

"_Think of the…tender things tha-" _Beca lets out a squeal when Jesse roughly nips at her collarbone but then continues on, _"That we were working on."_

"_Slow change may pull us a-" _Jesse muffles a moan against her skin when Beca wraps her legs tightly around him and rolls her hips against his. _"Apart," _he finishes in a groan.

"_When…the light gets…into…into…"_ Except she can't think anymore because Jesse has pulled her neckline down to kiss the top of her breasts and is moving against her and her hand's clutching his hair and _God, _she can't think.

He kisses up her neck until he reaches the soft underside of her ear and then whispers, "I win" while sucking on her earlobe.

She's panting and trying to control her chest's rising and falling. Jesse's now planting soft kisses along her cheeks, nose and eyelids. _I love this nerd. _She smiles at the thought. She still hasn't been able to say it, but she's certain of it. And she's trying, still waiting for the right time. The day of the ankle incident had been a disaster, the words had caught in her throat and she had failed miserably. But tonight, she was determined.

Beca snaps out of it when she hears Jesse laugh softly, "You look like you're thinking too hard, Bec. Don't hurt yourself now."

She narrows her eyes at him, "It's not such a good idea to insult your girlfriend while you're trying to get some."

"A-ca-scuse me? Who jumped who?" Jesse gives an "Ouch" when he receives a flick on his forehead.

"You're a weirdo. I've never heard a guy complain about his girlfriend jumping him before," She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm not complaining. I love the fact that my unbelievably sexy girlfriend finds me so irresistible, she tries to jump my bones the second she walks into my room," he waggles his eyebrows at her.

"Speaking of which," Beca says as soon as she realizes he's still pressed against her and she's still not satisfied, "Why is it that we're talking instead of having sex right now? And why the hell do you still have your shirt on. I thought I told you not to wear it anymore."

Jesse sighs over dramatically, "The things I do for you, Bec." He then takes off his shirt and a smug smile crosses his face when her eyes immediately trace his abs.

He grabs her hands when they try to venture down the same journey though. "I think you're forgetting something," he says as he grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it off. "And you even wore my favorite. You're the best."

"Yeah, I know what a big fan you are of red lace so…enjoy," she smirks at him.

Jesse nods with his dark eyes focused on the lacey material covering her breasts, "Oh, I will."

And then clothes are abruptly shed.

…

"I'm starting to think you like them more than you like me," Beca pants.

She frowns as Jesse mumbles something undecipherable into her skin. "What?"

"I'm in love with them and I'm never letting them go," he says lifting his head up from in between her breasts.

"You're such a romantic. I'm glad they mean so much to you," Beca drawls sarcastically. Her heart's pounding at the way he implied he was never letting _her _go, though.

Jesse just smiles at her and buries his face in her cleavage again. Beca giggles as she feels his stubble tickle the sides of her breasts.

Jesse looks up at her and grins, "What?"

Beca gently run her fingers down his cheek and chin, feeling the rough hair there. "It tickles."

A look of awareness comes onto Jesse's face and then a frown as he's just noticing the small red scratches around her mouth, chin and neck. "Did I do that?"

"What? The scratches? Yeah, but don't worry. My skin's just really sensitive." Sure, it had hurt, a little, but she really liked it when Jesse had a bit of stubble. It made him look really sexy and manly. She knew he didn't go unshaven often because he got really cross whenever she got even a small scratch on her person; like now.

"Damn it, I forgot. I'm sorry," he says running his thumb along her cheek. He was wearing a scowl as he examined the redness of the marks. "I'll go shave."

Beca sighs, "You don't have to. I don't mind."

"I'd rather not have to worry about kissing you and hurting you at the same time," he says pulling on his boxers and walking over to the bathroom.

Beca just huffs, "Fine, but at least let me do it." She would never admit it, but she loved it when they did stuff like that. When he let her shave him or when they would playfully dress each other in the mornings; it made her feel like they were a married couple. Surprisingly, the thought didn't really scare her.

She follows him into the bathroom after pulling on his discarded shirt and lets him pick her up and place her on the counter next to the sink. She's short, okay? And she'll look for any excuse to have him touch her, but that's not important.

He already has the shaving cream and razor out. Beca reaches for the cream and dabs some on the sides of his cheeks, around his jaw line, upper lip, chin, and on the underside of it as well. She grabs the razor and begins with smooth, downward strokes.

Jesse's hands are on her waist and he's just watching her and the concentrated look on her face and…_she's perfect_. She doesn't know it, but she always has a small smile playing on her lips when she does this. He knows that she knows that he doesn't take his eyes off of her for a second but she keeps her quips to herself and just lets him look. She's always careful to rinse the razor out after every three strokes and puts enough pressure to remove the short hairs but not enough to risk an accidental cut. She may tease him on how upset he gets when he sees a scratch on her but really, she's the same. She practically glared a hole through his head the time he had come back from an outing with the guys, with scrapes all over his arms after a rock climbing adventure gone wrong (he blamed Unicycle for suggesting they do this without any experience whatsoever).

Okay, so it had been pretty bad, but they could have been considered only 'scratches' from far away. Beca had gotten pissed though. Apparently, his arms were in the 'top three' category for 'favorite Jesse body parts' and he was not allowed to mar them in any way. That day had ended with some really great against-the-wall sex after he had grabbed her in the middle of her shouting match. He now has a small scar on his left bicep from the incident but Beca doesn't glare at it because she thinks it's 'hot'. He has trouble understanding how his girlfriend's mind works sometimes.

She can feel him staring at her but she doesn't mind. She's too focused on her even strokes and the way his hands tighten around her waist every so often. She then feels his hand trailing up her thigh and playfully hisses, "Don't distract me." Jesse just looks at her innocently with his big eyes and she shakes her head at him.

When Beca's finished, he moves over to the sink to wash his face and she hands him a towel.

"There. Too bad your sexiness level has lowered a whole bar," she smirks at him.

Jesse scoffs, "Please, Mitchell. My sexiness level doesn't lower, it only goes higher up."

She rolls her eyes when he winks at her and goes to hop off the counter but Jesse stops her. She looks up at him confused as he moves to stand in front of her again.

He's running his hands up her thighs again when he asks, "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?"

Beca crosses her arms and tries to hold down a smirk. "I couldn't find it. It's probably mixed in with all the bed sheets. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." He drops all contact with her and turns to walk away.

Beca can only gap at him.

Jesse glances over his shoulder and bursts out laughing at the look on her face. She wants to smack him.

"Damn you, Swanson. Get back here or I'll just have to take care of myself," she says trailing her fingers down to her thighs. He abruptly stops laughing, but she doesn't have time to smile victoriously because then his lips are on hers and his hand is in her hair. Jesse's kissing her roughly and she can't help but moan, because they've tried rough sex before and had both loved it. It was just something you had to get in the mood for.

She's pretty sure he's in the mood for it when she's pressed back against the bathroom mirror and her hips are pulled to the edge of the counter and she loses her train of thought.

…

"Jesse, we can't stay here. It's unsanitary."

"The rug's comfy enough. And I can't get up."

"We barely fit on it! The bathroom tiles are freezing and no, the rug is not comfy."

"I'll get up when you do."

"…I can't."

"It's because of the amazing sex we've just had. I'm that skilled."

"Your ego knows no bounds."

Jesse chuckles against her hair and weakly rolls her around to face him. "I'll get up soon. Just give me a minute."

"Good," Beca says mock-angrily. She smiles as she reaches up to brush some sweaty strands off his forehead and buries her face in his neck. She inwardly curses as the _'I Love You'_ thought crosses her mind again. _Really? Here?_ _On the bathroom rug, Beca? You are the epitome of romantic. _

She swallows roughly and tries to relax as Jesse runs his fingers down her spine.

"Jesse," she whispers.

"I'm up, I am up," he says as he rises to his feet and reaches down to grasp her hands and pull her off the rug. They groan at the cricks they get from lying on the bathroom floor and drowsily walk over to the bed. Both of them had had a-capella rehearsals that day, along with classes, and the exhaustion was just catching up with them. Not to mention the workout that is sex.

Jesse gets under the covers first and Beca climbs into his arms soon after pulling on his shirt. His chest is against her back and she feels him bury his nose in her hair and breathe in.

She opens her mouth to call his name again, like she had in the bathroom, but he had misunderstood and thought she was telling him to get up. It was probably better that way. Beca really didn't want to tell him that she loved him in a bathroom.

"Jesse,"

"Hmm?" He's drowsy, but she knows he's giving her his full attention.

She intertwines her left hand with the one he has wrapped around her waist and her right hand with the one connected to the arm he's letting her use as a pillow. She takes a deep breath. "I love…" She can't manage it. "…our time…spent together," she finishes awkwardly.

Beca can feel him staring at the back of her head intently, now fully awake. She shuts her eyes as she feels him scoot closer and squeeze her hands with his. She feels like crying. There are tears burning in the back of her eyes and she doesn't like feeling so emotionally unstable, but she can't help it. _Why can't she just say it? _

Jesse's lips press against her ear in a soft kiss and he says quietly, "Me too, Bec."

He's holding on to her tightly and his touch is so comforting, she thinks he knows. And it makes her love him even more. Jesse would never rush her; he'll wait for as long as it takes for her to be ready. Thing is, he shouldn't have to wait any longer. And it frustrates her to no end that there's still something holding her back from telling him the truth that he deserves to hear more than anyone else. And what if he gets tired of waiting? What if he gets tired of her?

She can feel him drifting off and his hold on her hands loosening. She relaxes into his embrace and takes a deep breath. She'll tell him. Soon, hopefully.

**Review, please! I really want to know what you guys think of it!**


	3. My girl with the ear spike

**Hey guys! I'm sorry this has taken so long, university life is sometimes very stressing :/**

**I've spent a couple of days deciding whether or not to upload this chapter, cause I'm not very sure of it. It's from Jesse's POV, so he's kind of a cheeseball in it, but I hope he stayed in character. It was way more complicated than I thought. It's also a bit shorter but I promise the next few chapters will be longer. **

* * *

Almost 57 minutes. A new record.

He glances at Beca, who's just fallen asleep on his shoulder. It's impressive really, considering the fact that they had been watching a rom-com. Beca usually dozes off in the first half-an-hour; right after the two love interests meet and just start to fall for the other. She never likes how they meet, either bumping into each other by accident or locking eyes from afar. She says it's unoriginal.

Jesse had once asked what she thought about their meeting. "I had a total weirdo serenade me, a complete stranger with a scary ear spike, from his car. What's not to love? _That_'s the kind of meeting that's worthy of being in a movie."

He smiles as he thinks of that particular memory. Beca wouldn't let him talk her into saying anything cheesy for a couple of weeks after that.

Jesse looks down at her and sees a frown on her face. They're sitting up against the wall so they're not in a very comfortable position. He then does something horror-Swanson-worthy. He stops the unfinished movie playing on his laptop and moves it aside so that he could lie down and bring Beca with him. It was just the two of them in her dorm room; Amy was out…doing…what Amy does. They didn't like to ask. Her previous comments had made them very afraid.

Anyway…he doesn't like to think about that much so instead he focuses his gaze on the girl now resting on his chest. His girlfriend. Amazingly scary ear spike included. No smoky eyes today, though. Bec sometimes likes to give her lids a rest from the makeup. But only around him, because she likes the way the makeup basically says, "Don't approach me; go find someone who cares" and she doesn't want to give the general public the idea that she's suddenly now approachable.

He likes the fact that she never could keep up that façade in front of him. She knows this too, of course. She used to glare at him jokingly and ask him why he couldn't have just kept his distance like everyone else. He had smiled cheekily at her and said, "Because when you take the ear spike and dark makeup out of the equation, you're not exactly scary, _Becky_." She had hit him over the head for that one, but the warm look in her eyes had made it worth it. Honestly, she makes everything worth it. And he doubts that she could ever scare him away. Even when she gives him death glares; they make her look adorable (she denies these claims wholeheartedly). He likes a lot of things about Beca. No, wait, that's not right. He_ loves_ a lot of things about Beca.

He loves the fact that she's just so tiny. Barely five feet tall. Well, that's an exaggeration, but still. It's almost strange how much he enjoys having her in his arms. Maybe it's because he's always sure she's safe there. If he's holding her, nothing can hurt her. And while Jesse knows Beca is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, he likes knowing that she can rely on him. And even better, she knows this too. She could complain all she wants about him giving her piggy-back rides (he could tell when she was too tired to even walk at nights after her shifts at the radio station and always managed to convince her) but he always felt the contented sigh she gave against his neck and the chaste kiss she would place on the spot right behind his ear.

He loves the curls of her hair. It's not a particularly manly thing to be thinking of, but so what? He loves his girlfriend's hair. He used to stare at the top of her head, trying to figure out the color. He and Amy once got into an argument about it; he called it penny bronze (mostly in the sun) and she called it three-shade-darker-than-dingo-hair (whatever that means). But yeah, he was talking about her curls, right? They're never perfect, corkscrew curls. They're always a lot bigger and messier. He especially likes them in the morning, before she brushes them out. And he never could resist curling a strand around his finger, like he was doing now. So yeah, kind of an unhealthy obsession.

He loves how she loses herself in her music. Beca uses it as a way out; whenever she wants to ignore reality, she'll plug in her headphones and turn on her laptop and you'd lose her for hours. Except, she had never used it to block _him_ out. Even if they were arguing, she would glance at her headphones longingly but she never once turned her back on him. Instead, she would toughen it out and face him full on. They're never mad at each other for long, though.

He loves the face she always wears when she's showing him one of her mixes. Beca's good, great actually, and everyone knows it. But whenever he would hear a new mix (he was always the first one to hear it; unless it was for the Bellas), she would watch him so earnestly, like that first time in the room she had shared with Kimmy Jin, it was like she had never received a compliment on her music before. His opinion matters to her the most, and it's the same for him.

He loves her tattoos. Especially the flowers on her right shoulder. He'd spend hours in bed with her, tracing each and every one with his lips and by the way she always shivered when he did this, she enjoyed it too.

He loves the way she means every kiss and every touch. Beca isn't usually an affectionate person. She had started pushing people away from her at an early age and hadn't formed close knit relationships until she had come to Barden University. She doesn't engage in group hugs every five minutes with the Bellas, but she has other ways of showing them that she cares about them and that they're her closest friends. She isn't the type of girlfriend that drapes herself all over him 24/7 but that makes the moments when they touch even better. He doesn't need her to act clingy and stake her claim on him every five minutes to know that she loves him. He always feels it in every brush of her fingers against his arm and in every affectionate 'nerd' she lets slip out. He especially loves it when she smiles sarcastically at him after he quotes a corny movie (he's just _that_ romantic), but then reaches for the back of his neck and brings his forehead down to meet hers. Beca would smile softly at him and then kiss him lightly. And with Beca, you don't exactly expect her to be gentle at any point in time. It makes him love her.

So, why hasn't Jesse Swanson declared this in the most cheesy and romantic setting possible? Especially when he knows she loves him back.

Well, he's waiting. He doesn't care if he has to say it first. He just wants her to lose the fear in her eyes before he tells her. So many times, he had come so close, but it hadn't been the right moment. He knows what she's afraid of. Right now, they're at their honeymoon stage. They argue and bicker like any normal couple, but they never spend more than a day or two angry at each other. Everything's fun. Everything's easy because it's hard to deny the other anything or stay mad at them for any long period of time. When the time comes to say their "I Love You's", though, things will get more serious. Because they will have explicitly handed their heart over to the other. But if Jesse was being honest, they had already done this a long time ago.

And it scares Beca because if they were to break up for any reason, it would hurt them more than ever. Especially since they would know how the other had felt and what they had lost. It scares him too. But he's a risk-taker. And he knows that this is a stage they need to pass. Beca had cringed when he had first called her his girlfriend, but she came to accept it. And she seems happy. So, maybe, they have nothing to worry about.

He adjusts Beca by his side so that he could take his jeans and shirt off. He then settles in against her and pulls the covers over the both of them, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

He doubts they'll break-up anyway. He doesn't plan on letting her go anytime soon. He knows there will be obstacles and that there may come a time where they'll think there's nothing left to do but separate. And if that happens, he'll find her again. They're going to end up together even if she doesn't realize it yet.

It's inevitable.

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**Don't forget to review, please!**


	4. These hellish times

**I totally have a full on toner for Beca and Jesse (it's a problem). But who can blame me? They're a-ca awesome.**

**By the way, I'm making Luke a super senior in this.**

* * *

_Two weeks later_

"What is it with you and musicals?"

"I can relate to them. And I can't believe you've never seen _Phantom of the Opera_, Beca. Oh wait, no, I can. Because of your hatred for all things played on a screen."

"Your life is not a musical, Jesse. And I do not hate all things played on a screen; my music plays on my laptop screen, remember?"

"Shhh. Look, Christine's about to sing, _Angel of Music_."

"You dork."

Ten minutes later, she starts getting restless. Beca looks up from Jesse's chest to see his eyes transfixed on his laptop screen. She sighs and moves to sit up.

"Where are you going?" He asks with his hand still holding on to her waist.

Beca moans, "I'm bored."

"You're kidding right? We haven't even gotten past the first hour," Jesse says with an incredulous look on his face.

By this point, Beca's frowning and she looks about ready to throw a tantrum. All they've done this past week was watch movies. Comedies, dramas, _musicals_. It's like this month was 'annoy the hell out of Beca by making her want to stab her eyes out watching movies' month.

Jesse can sense Beca is about to explode, judging by the way she's glaring angrily at him and her cheeks are flushed. This doesn't stop the smile that threatens to erupt on his face, though. And that does it.

"I don't want to watch movies! Not stupid musicals or stupid rom-coms or stupid dramas! I want to do something else, anything else!" Jesse's hardly paying any attention to her as he's rummaging through his laptop bag and then takes out a juice pouch and a DVD case.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" She asks snappishly, trying to ignore the fact that she sounds like one of those annoying, clingy girlfriends. "I don't even want anymore of your stupid juice pouches," she tries to ignore the fact that she reaches for it anyway. "What are you _doing_?"

Jesse's still ignoring her as he calmly takes out the _Phantom of the Opera _DVD case from his laptop and puts a new one in.

"Why the hell would I want to watch _another _movie? Are you even listening to me? You're so annoying. And you're the worst boyf-" Beca pauses as the menu from the _Breakfast Club_ pops up and Jesse presses play.

She looks from the laptop to Jesse and sees him smugly raise one eyebrow at her and pat the spot next to him. She violently pokes her straw through her juice pouch and takes a sip, contemplating whether to give in easily or to keep up the stubborn act. She knows it's no use, though. She loves this movie.

Beca lies back against his side and contently takes sips from her juice pouch. She sneaks a peek at Jesse and sees his smirk. She huffs crankily and tries to ignore him.

Soon enough, though, she can't ignore the chuckles rumbling through his chest.

"Shhh. I'm trying to watch, nerd."

"You always get like this," he says amused. "I thought PMS was an over exaggeration made up by a bunch of guys but now I know."

"Hey! My annoyance was completely rational. It's like all we've done these past few days is watch movies," she says not looking away from his laptop screen.

"Beca, this is only the _second_ movie this week."

"I'm trying to watch," she snaps. Beca scowls when his chest starts shaking with laughter but keeps quiet. She gets that she's kind of a bitch this time of month. And honestly, she doesn't get why he doesn't run for the hills around the 7th to 11th.

Once the movie's over, she groans. She really doesn't want to get up. Instead, she just buries her face in Jesse's chest and tries to inconspicuously wipe the few tears that have leaked out (TBC always manages to make her cry, damn it; and it's even worse when she's extra sensitive).

"Bec, we have about ten minutes to get to the station and if we're late again, Luke will grace us with that scary as hell scowl again," Jesse says but he seems content to stay where they are.

"I didn't think it was scary. Sexy as hell, maybe, but not scary," she mumbles against his shirt and squeals when she gets a pinch on her waist for her teasing. Beca groans, "I don't want to work today. I just want to go back to my dorm and eat lots of chocolate. I should be granted these kinds of privileges during this difficult time in my life."

"So these privileges should be granted to you every month for the rest of your life?" He asks amused.

Beca just glares at him and that insufferable (not cute) smirk on his face. "Exactly. Do you have a problem with that?"

Jesse raises his hands in an "I surrender" gesture and shakes his head, smiling that dorky grin only he could pull off.

Beca rolls her eyes and squints up at him. If she's going to get what she wants, she needs to play her cards right.

"Jesse?" She asks softly.

"Hmmm," he says barely paying attention as he packs everything into his bag. He feels a tug on his shirt and looks down to see a small hand clutching the fabric. His eyes then travel to Beca's face and his mouth goes dry. "No, Bec. You can't do this to me," he groans.

"Please Jesse," she whispers with a pout on her face and makes sure her eyes are wide enough to resemble the puppy dog look. "I don't want to go," she sniffs. She's pretty sure the tears in her eyes aren't artificial because she just got a case of some serious cramps and it seriously _hurts_, but she might as well use it to her advantage. Sometimes, she kind of feels disgusted with herself for doing this but right now she doesn't care. Besides, she only does this when desperate times call for desperate measures; aka, when she's PMSing. She doesn't want to spend the day stacking CDs, damn it, she just wants to eat sweets, take a nap, and preferably do all of this with Jesse.

Speaking of her nerd, he's currently shielding his eyes with his hand and trying not to pay attention to her, to no avail. "Damn it, Beca. This is not fair. You know I can't miss another shift or else Luke will kill me," he tries to say firmly. It's no use though, when she does this, her eyes look impossibly huge and _blue _and he hates his girlfriend sometimes.

Beca tries not to smirk as Jesse heaves a big sigh and says defeated, "Fine. I'll just send Luke a text." He winces because he knows he's gonna get hell for it.

Beca just shrugs, "It'll be fine. We'll make it up to him when we take over his shift tonight."

* * *

They walk to her dorm, with Jesse grumbling about her devil tricks and how she better not teach that to their a-ca children or else he'll never be able to assert any authority and Beca just holding back a smile and pretending not to hear him.

The first thing she does when she gets to her dorm room is go directly over to Amy's side of the room and reach under the bed for all of the supposedly hidden treats. She comes up triumphant with a few packs of M&Ms which she's recently found herself addicted to.

Jesse's already on his second pack when she comes out of the bathroom and she quickly reaches under Amy's bed for more. What? She's allowed to get fat during this difficult time, alright?

She's happily munching on some M&Ms on her bed when she sees Jesse fiddling with her laptop.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Sure, she trusts him to not mess up her equipment but he's way too close to it right now and it's making her nervous.

"Relax, I'm just putting on your period music."

"Period music?" She says incredulously.

"Yeah. For some reason, you like listening to sad Coldplay music around this time of month."

"You stalker. How do you know that?"

He rolls his eyes. "Sometimes you act like I'm oblivious to anything about you, weirdo. It's not that strange for me to know this; we've known each other for a year now. Don't you know anything weird about me?" He asks by the time Coldplay's _Fix You_ starts playing and he hands her another juice pouch from his bag.

"I know you have an indefinite amount of Capri Sun's in there," she says amused. "Besides, it's kind of hard to keep track of everything that's weird about you; there's just so much."

"Haha, hilarious. Weren't you going to take a nap or something?" Jesse asks mock-annoyed.

Beca rolls her eyes, "Get over here then, Swanson."

A minute later, they're cuddled under the blankets (though Beca doesn't _do_ cuddling) and she's trying to get comfortable on his chest.

"Okay, this isn't working. And I know what the problem is," she says with a serious look on her face.

Jesse just raises his eyebrows at her.

"You need to take your shirt off." She tries to keep a straight face as she says this.

He tries not to show how smug he is on his face but it's a futile effort. Jesse sighs dramatically, "The things I do for you, Beca. I think you should repay me back with the same favor." He waggles his eyebrow at her.

"Nope. I'm good." She settles back onto his chest and tries not to smirk when she hears his indignant sputtering.

"Okay fine, nerd." She mimics his dramatic sigh as she takes off her shirt. "The things I do for you." She feels Jesse smile and press a kiss to her forehead.

A few minutes later, his breathing evens out and she's still awake. She can't stop thinking about his comment. She does know weird things about him. Small details that are unnoticeable to anyone else but her.

She knows Jesse likes to mix Dr. Pepper with Cherry Pop because according to him, it tastes better. She knows he likes to keep the curtains wide open during the night because if he doesn't wake up bathed in sunlight, he's cranky for the rest of the day. She knows he stays on the phone for a long time pretending to listen attentively to those telegram messengers because he doesn't have the heart to hang up on them or cut them off. She knows he humors her during these times of the month and takes the snappy comments like a champ, because he prefers to be with her during her hellish week than not be with her at all.

By the time these thoughts run through her mind, her fingers begin to unconsciously trace the words 'I Love You' onto his bare chest, over and over again. By the time she notices, she freezes and looks up to see if he's still asleep. He is. She ignores the disappointment weighing in her chest because it would have been a nice way to let him know before she could actually say it.

Ten minutes later, she's the one asleep and it's really too bad, because Jesse's fingers have unfrozen and are now tracing 'I Love You Too' onto her side.

* * *

**I thought Beca could be a bit out of character, since you know, aren't we all during that hellish week?**


	5. Not jealous

**You guys are seriously amazing for reviewing so much! Honestly, it feels awesome when you receive such amazing comments, I'm so glad I started this!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_One week later, Friday_

Months ago, she had been surprised to find that Jesse had a bit of a jealous streak.

Not a possessive one…just "protective".

Like that time she had been waiting for him by the keg at a house party near campus. A drunken perve had gotten too close to her and asked if she wanted him to show her a good time in one of the free rooms upstairs; his stare had been fixated on her shirt's low-cut neckline.

She had opened her mouth to tell the fucker off when Jesse had come up behind him to roughly grab his shoulder and pull him out of her personal space. His jaw had been locked and his eyes dark as he told the idiot that she was "taken". Surprisingly, this hadn't bothered her; she had been too busy admiring his broad shoulders and the way his biceps were flexed. The douche had been sober enough to realize that he was in no actual shape to fight Jesse (he was a nerd, but he was a nerd who worked out, _lucky her_) so he had only raised his arms and backed away. Jesse had watched him go with narrowed eyes as he placed a possessive hand on her hip.

When he had turned to face her, he found her staring at him. His jaw had unlocked as a sheepish look crossed his face.

"Sorry, I was just…"

"Jealous."

"No, just-"

"Jealous."

"_Protective_. He was standing too close to you," he had frowned. Beca had brought her cup to her lips to hide her smile and grabbed his hand to drag him over to their friends.

From then on, she admits that she's made it a habit to get him jealous every once in a while. Nothing serious, though. Just things like, not backing away from idiots who hit on her and tried to stand too close while she waited for Jesse to come over and drive them away.

She only does this _sometimes_, okay? She's not a mean girlfriend; she just _really _enjoys that look on his face. Plus, every time this happens, they end up having _really _great sex.

Like right now, when he's pressed up against her and kissing her neck from behind while she's trying to unlock her door. It had been harmless really. Luke had invited them to a party at his apartment and one of his friends had pointedly checked her out, ignoring Jesse's glare the whole time.

She had known her boyfriend was about to lose it when he had gritted his teeth and locked his jaw. Luke's friend had just kept on flirting with her like he wasn't even there; even throwing in some sexual innuendos and asking if she wanted to get away from the crowded room to go for a "walk" outside. Gripping Jesse's arm so he wouldn't do anything stupid, she had only given him a grimace and a dismissive "no thanks".

Then she had proceeded to pull her boyfriend into her and crash her lips against his in an unusual act of PDA.

They definitely hadn't been the only couple there making out but they always preferred to save the intense kissing for more private moments. That hadn't exactly stopped them, though. It hadn't mattered that Luke's friend had long since walked away with a scowl on his face or that Luke had muttered "no sex on my couch" as he had walked past them. Beca and Jesse had kept going for a while, their tongues tangling together and his pelvis pressing her own against the wall. Her leg had been hitched up on his waist and he had been about to run his hand up her shirt when they had both pulled back.

"My place or yours?" Jesse had asked, nibbling on her jaw line.

She had chuckled under her breath at the cliché and panted, "Mine."

She finally gets the door unlocked and pulls him in. They reattach their lips while Beca kicks off her heels and Jesse hurriedly tries to take off her jeans. He stops kissing her for a moment to pull them down to her ankles and help her step out of them. He then trails his hands to her underwear and hooks his thumb on either side to slide them off. She feels his breath just underneath her navel and shivers as she braces her hands on his shoulders.

She takes a step back to lean against the dresser and Jesse follows on his knees until his mouth is pressed against her _there _and her leg is thrown over his shoulder and she _can't. really. think. _

Once she stops seeing bright, white spots she opens her eyes to Jesse holding her up and slowly pulling her blouse over her head. She's still panting as she reaches for the hem of his shirt and tugs. _Seriously? How had she not realized that he's still completely dressed?_

Jesse raises his arms for Beca to pull off his shirt as he kicks off his shoes. Multi-tasking. They've always been great at it…mostly during sex.

She unbuckles his belt next as he reaches behind her to undo her bra strap with expertise (he's had a lot of practice). Her hands push his jeans down as her straps fall down her shoulders. Jesse's fingers skim her spine as he pulls her into him.

Next thing she knows, she's resting on bed sheets and Jesse's hovering over her with a glazed look in his eyes. They look at each other for a minute, panting, and Beca lets out a soft chuckle. This prompts Jesse into a series of chuckles himself and soon enough they're both laughing. He leans his head on her shoulder and she runs her fingers through his hair.

"I think we did all of that under ten minutes," he mumbles.

Beca hums in agreement. "You were pretty enthusiastic there."

"I wasn't the only one," he says, nipping her collarbone.

"You started it," she retorts, massaging his head.

Jesse props his upper body up with his forearms. "_I _started it?" He raises an eyebrow. "You practically attacked my lips at the party after-" He grits his teeth as he remembers the guy who had hit on her.

"I know. But you had that look on your face and so it was _your_ fault that I attacked you."

"What look?" He asks confused.

"The hot-as-hell, murderous one."

Jesse looks smug at this. "I knew you couldn't resist me."

Beca rolls her eyes as she traces the small scar on his left bicep. "Can it, nerd. That's the _only _time you look even remotely sexy."

"Liar," he mutters as he nibbles on the underside of her ear.

She can feel his warm breath by her neck and suddenly she doesn't feel like engaging in meaningless banter anymore.

"_Oh, fuck,_" Jesse groans as Beca wraps her legs around his hips and presses up against him.

"Let's keep going, nerd. We have all night," she says breathlessly.

…

"Hey Jesse?"

He hums against the top of her breast as she runs her fingers through his hair.

"You know, I was actually considering his proposal on taking a walk outside."

He furrows his brow and looks up at her. "Wha-" he stops when he sees her smirk. Jesse narrows his eyes at her. "You do that on purpose."

Beca puts on an entirely fake, innocent look on her face. "No, really. I mean, he was almost an exact carbon copy of Luke, except with dark hair, and you know how fond I am of _him_ so-"

Her teasing gets cut off in a gasp as her nerd goes on to prove how multi-talented he is with his hands and mouth.

_She loves this nerd._

…

An hour later, he's mumbling something against her hair while she's resting on his chest.

Beca looks up at him, "What?" She's pretty sure the flush on his face doesn't only have to do with how tired he is.

"You're mine," he blurts out. Jesse quickly goes to back up his statement when she raises an eyebrow at him. "I mean, you know. You're my girlfriend and I don't like it when other guys hit on you. And I guess I feel like I have the right to not like it, because you're mine, er, my girl," he finishes with a sheepish smile.

Beca hides her smile in his chest, because really, she should be offended. He just called her _his_. And her feminist side should be angrily rebutting his statement, but she just couldn't bring herself to care. She quite likes the sound of it actually. And she would be lying if she said that she had never thought of him as _hers_.

"Beca?" Jesse's looking at her worriedly, hoping she wasn't angry with him.

She smiles up at him. "Okay, nerd. I'm yours. But only on the condition that you admit you're mine, too."

Jesse smiles and pulls her closer. "Deal, weirdo. I'm yours."

* * *

_Sunday_

She doesn't get how he manages to make her do dorky things like this.

It's not like they're great dancers to begin with; that hadn't stopped them from dancing to the radio on full volume, though.

_Miss Atomic Bomb _had started playing and Jesse knew it was one of Beca's favorites.

He had grabbed her hand, pulling her up from his bed where she had been pretending to study (she had really just been melting into a puddle of goo, listening to his voice sing along to the radio), and had pulled Beca into him to lead her into a completely uncoordinated dance.

She had rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the goofy faces he was making while singing, but had eventually given in to his enthusiasm.

"_Racing shadows in the moonlight,_" his voice gets considerably softer, toning down their crazy "dancing" while he pulls her close.

Beca smiles as she steps into him so their chests are touching. She plays with the hair at the nape of his neck and leans her head on his shoulder.

"You've ruined me, nerd. And we're horrible dancers," she mumbles into his shirt.

Jesse chuckles, "I happen to think I have excellent dancing skills, thank you very much."

"You also think you have a-camazing performance skills, but we both know that's not true." Beca teases.

She tries to hold in a shiver as he nips her earlobe punishingly, because really, he can't know how much he affects her.

"Really?" Jesse whispers. "Is that why you can never take your eyes off me every time I'm on stage?"

Okay, so the way she nearly drools over him at mixers and competitions is not something she's proud of.

"Get over yourself, nerd. How are you so sure I'm always looking at _you_? Maybe I'm staring at Benji or Kolio."

Her words do nothing to change Jesse's smug expression.

"Sure, Bec. Whatever you want to believe. But we all know the truth."

"Shut up," she mutters.

"What do you want to do today?" He says, still swaying them softly from side to side.

"I just want to stay here," Beca says, her words muffled against his shoulder. "And not study."

"That can be arranged…want to go take a shower?"

Beca smirks. "You just like to do it in the locker room because I told you about Chloe barging in on me in there."

Jesse shrugs. "Two naked girls together in a shower stall. And one of them's my girlfriend. Yup, that pretty much sets the mood."

Beca pulls back and slaps his arm, ignoring his dramatic, wounded expression. "Way to ruin the romantic atmosphere nerd. And just so you know, Chloe's then-beau was there too. Hope that ruins the mental image for you."

"You're right, it does. I guess we'll have to create a new one," he says as he grabs her around the hips to throw her over his shoulder.

Beca gasps and is about to yell at him, but then her vision is blocked by the sight of his _very nice_ butt and she suddenly finds herself without complaint as she's carried over to the locker room.

* * *

_Monday_

"God damn it, Amy. _No_. N-O. No."

"Oh come on, Shawshank. Just tell me how good he is."

"How good who's at what?" _Stacie really has the worst timing sometimes, _Beca groans inwardly.

"Our Bella Captain's Treble. I heard them going at it in the locker room yesterday. And let me tell you, by the noises she was making, the sex is _good_."

Beca covers her eyes with one hand and groans, "Oh God, Amy. _Shut up_."

"Don't be embarrassed, Shawshank. Just 'cause I heard you in the middle of orgasmic bliss doesn't mean you have to be weird around me now. If you want to even up the score, I'll tell you where to be the next time I'm-"

"Why were you even in there?! That was the boys' locker room," Beca says, cutting Amy off before she could say something that could mentally disturb her.

"You're not the only one who likes the acoustics at shower stalls," Fat Amy winks at her.

"They are great, aren't they? I could tell you guys so many stories," Stacie says excitedly.

"No! Stop! I'm leaving," Beca says while she quickly turns to walk away.

"But you haven't even heard the best part! I once used the locker room as a _dungeon _and this gorgeous Italian guy was my _captor_ and we-"

"_Yeah_, I don't want to hear this either. I mean, doesn't your mouth have a censor?" Fat Amy says, looking disgusted.

Stacie scoffs, "Oh and _yours _does?"

While they're arguing, Beca just rolls her eyes and turns to look at the stage. The Trebles are performing for a mixer on campus and surprisingly, Kolio was working the solo for _Mr. Brightside; _he was really quite good. She could see Jesse in the background following the choreography the Trebles had been working on for a few weeks now. It seemed like they always gave off a sexy vibe, especially to the females (and some males). Or maybe it was because Unicycle kept lifting up his shirt and tracing his abs at various intervals during the dance; that guy is kind of obsessed.

She watches them, her eyes on Jesse the whole time, until they finish the set; the girls in the crowd cheering the loudest.

Beca rolls her eyes at the peppy, giggly ones that rush over to greet the Trebles as they walk offstage. Her nerd's eyes have met hers already and he starts walking her way. Unfortunately, he's detoured by a red head who's shirt is way too low-cut and is wearing far too much makeup.

Beca looks away. She doesn't care; she is _not _the jealous type. And If she goes over there, he'll tease her about it forever.

"Um, Beca? You do know that skank is currently making a move on your man, right?" Stacie raises an eyebrow at her.

Beca grits her teeth. "It's fine. He'll be here in a sec, anyway. Why should I go over to them?"

"Because it doesn't look like she's gonna let him go anytime soon."

Beca's head snaps back to them and she sees that while Jesse's trying to gently push the redhead's hand away from his bicep, she's just pressing in closer.

She tries to look elsewhere; anywhere else. Her gaze lands on Fat Amy, who's making some thrusting motions with her hips pointing in Jesse's direction and grinning at her. She mouths, _Go get him, tiger._

And really, why the hell not? She could handle a month's, maybe two month's, worth of teasing. It didn't matter as long as that skank (quote, unquote Stacie) gets her hands _off his arms_. _They're hers._

She makes a beeline toward them, Jesse's eyes meeting hers halfway. They widen and she swears there's even a hint of lust in there.

She steps in close to the red head, who hasn't noticed her yet and is telling Jesse that her room was free that night, oblivious to the fact that his eyes were trained on someone behind her.

Beca places her hand on the girl's shoulder, ignoring her gasp of surprise as she's whirled around, and effectively removing her hand from Jesse's arm. "He's taken," she smirks at the dumbfounded girl.

The red head gathers her wits as she narrows her eyes at Beca and places a hand on her hip. "Prove it," she says with a cocky smirk.

Beca just looks at her coolly and takes a step forward to press herself up against Jesse. His hands come up to grip her hips automatically. "Tell her you're mine, nerd," she says against his lips, loud enough for the red head to hear.

"I'm yours," he doesn't even hesitate and a nano-second later their lips are pressed together.

They don't even hear the red head's indignant scoff or Stacie and Fat Amy's loud whooping in the background. They do hear the catcalls however, and a second later they reluctantly force their lips apart only to realize that they must have been kissing for a while because his hand is under her shirt, resting on her lower back, and judging by the mussed up hair on their head, they had both survived a hurricane.

"Oops," Beca breathes against his lips.

"Oops is right," Jesse chuckles.

_Okay, so maybe she has a bit of a jealous streak too._

…

_Two hours later_

"What is it with us and PDA this month?"

"You started it," she mutters.

"Not tonight," Jesse smirks.

Beca groans, "I knew you were going to hold this against me."

Jesse rolls onto his side to lean over her. "I know what you mean by the 'hot-as-hell, murderous look' now."

"I guess we both have issues. Besides, I was only being _protective,_" Beca says smiling as he leans in to kiss her and she runs her fingers down the side of his neck.

When they pull away, Beca remembers an annoying detail. "Stacie and Amy will never let me live this down," she sighs.

"Nah. Just because we hightailed it out of there, with eager looks on our faces, doesn't mean we were thinking of sex. Maybe they think we went out for ice cream or something," Jesse says faux-seriously.

Beca tries to hold back a smile. "Yeah, that's why Amy yelled out that we were free to use our dorm tonight. So that we could have a place to eat the ice cream in," she says sarcastically.

Jesse nods, "Exactly. See? No need to be worried." He leans back and pulls Beca into him so that her head is resting on his chest.

Beca rests her chin on her hands and looks at him. "Hey, nerd?" _Say it_.

Jesse hums drowsily.

Beca takes a deep breath and starts tracing the words onto his abdomen, _I- _come on, _am yours_. Not exactly what she had in mind, but not a bad alternative either.

Jesse half opens his eye-lids and smiles gently at her as he traces, _And I am yours, _onto her spine.

She smiles and turns away as she frowns at the wall. _Well, she tried. And she's hopeless. _

* * *

**Miss Atomic Bomb by the Killers = amazing song! Go check it out if you haven't already.**

**I hope the first part wasn't awkward; I don't have any experience with sex scenes (or anything that resembles it) _at all, _so I prefer to just imply them. So props to whoever writes them! **

**I've always imagined these two as the jealous type, so I hope they stayed in character. **

**Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!**


	6. Freak-out confession

**I don't know why this chapter's taken me so long. It seems like writing just gets harder and even more impossible :/ **

* * *

_Three weeks later - Wednesday_

The loud smack reverberates throughout the station as the CD's harshly stacked on the shelf. She's scowling as she whirls around to grab another one from the cardboard box, pointedly ignoring the set of eyes trained on her from the other side of the room.

She can also feel Luke's gaze darting back and forth between her and Jesse's forms from the booth. He obviously didn't know what was going on, and had been confoundedly watching their behavior toward each other ever since they had entered the station.

Beca had made it a point to storm in ten whole minutes earlier only to fiercely glare at Luke as she started bringing over CD boxes to the table, trying to make as much noise as possible. She had been pissed when he hadn't allowed her to change shifts; she's still pissed now.

Luke had been all, _But why, Becky? You already have your schedule set. It'll ruin the time equilibrium we've established at the station. Besides, Jesse's class schedule is not as flexible as yours; what if you two end up having completely different shifts? _Stupid Luke.

That had actually been the whole point. But Luke didn't need to know that. In fact, judging by the perplexed look on his face, he wasn't aware of anything.

Jesse's entrance had annoyed the shit out of her. He had strolled in, all casual, sending a nod to Luke and shooting a wary glance at her back; she had forced herself to keep facing the shelves as she heard the door open. At first, Jesse had come over to help her stack CDs, uttering a quiet 'hi' that she hadn't responded to. She had been so silently cold that the atmosphere had quickly turned tense. Jesse had done well in moving away from her side of the room, keeping a safe distance from his quietly seething girlfriend.

She can feel his eyes on her, though. It's unnerving. Jesse had given her some much needed space for the first hour of work, but she can tell that he now wants to _talk_. And she'd rather not. In fact, she's perfectly happy ignoring him for the rest of the afternoon. And evening. Maybe even into the morning.

They had fought on Friday night. It had started out ridiculous, but had escalated to a point neither of them had expected. They haven't talked since then. Well, more like, Beca hadn't answered any of his calls and had ignored him all the times he had knocked on her door.

She was angry, okay? She still is. Just pure, red anger. She's not sad or anything. Definitely not upset. And she doesn't miss him. At all.

Stupid Jesse.

* * *

_Friday_

_She looked like an idiot. People who walked by the hallway stared as she waited outside of his dorm room, sitting on the floor with a scary scowl on her face. _

_He was late. Jesse had never been late before. And Benji wasn't even there to let her in. She would have left long ago, but she had been so pissed that Jesse hadn't been there waiting for her that she just had to yell at him. He was so going to get it as soon as he arrived. _

_And there he was, turning the corner. Her soon-to-be-dead nerd._

"_Beca?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"_

_She gritted her teeth as she stood up and dodged his kiss, ignoring him when he raised his eyebrows at her. "Movication. Remember? We agreed on it last week; you said that I just _had_ to watch this 'super awesome' movie that just came out. You said 8:00. It's 9:15. I've been waiting here for over an hour."_

"_But that wasn't today, it wa-" Jesse stopped, his eyes wide. _

_Beca crossed her arms and smiled sarcastically at him. "Yeah. Where the hell were you?"_

_Jesse sighed, "I'm sorry, Bec. I was with the guys. After rehearsal, we decided to go to that taco place off campus. And I completely forgot about today." He took out his keys and opened the door to usher her inside._

_Beca made it a point to stomp in angrily. "I can't believe you just _forgot. _Aren't you the one who started our stupid movication in the first place? I suffer through dozens of movies for you each month and I'm always here for them. And you just _forget _about today?" _

_She wasn't exactly in the best of moods; Bella rehearsal had gone horribly wrong because they had all been tired and the girls had refused to cooperate on anything. Beca had been looking forward to curl up next to Jesse after her stress-filled day. But he had _forgotten _about their plans and it just bothered her so much, because it didn't seem like such a big deal to him. _

"_I didn't mean to, Beca. I just got distracted. I thought you weren't the type of girlfriend that got pissed if I decided to hang out with my friends." It looked like he wasn't in the best of moods either._

"_That's not the problem. Don't try to turn this around on me, okay? We made plans and you weren't here for them. I looked like an idiot who had been stood up or something," Beca retorted._

"_I said I was _sorry_. And why didn't you just leave then? If you thought you looked so dumb then you could have just gone back to your dorm," he said, throwing his hands up exasperatedly._

"_Because I wanted to yell at you! I can't believe you just blew me off! It's like you don't even care that we haven't seen each other all week!"_

"_Wow, great job on the yelling, really," Jesse said sarcastically. "And whose fault is that, Beca? You're the one that's been completely absent lately." Okay, so this was true. She had been frustrated about…everything. From classes to rehearsals to her failures at telling Jesse those stupid words. So she had distanced herself a bit, but she had wanted to see him today. She hadn't been expecting them to fight, though. _

"_I wasn't sure our plans were still on, anyway. And I didn't know you cared so much about our 'stupid' movication, since apparently you just suffer through it and it means nothing to you," he went on, scowling at her. _

"_Of course, it means something! I'm always here for it, aren't I?"_

"_Well, I wouldn't know. It's always so hard knowing if something or even someone means anything to you, since you never like to share your feelings on the matter." And that was when Beca knew he was entering dangerous territory. And he knew it too, by the way his eyes gleamed with pent up frustration. _

_She narrowed her eyes at him. "I try to show them instead. Do I act_ _like I actually _hate_ movication?"_

"_Why don't you just say the words? You _love_ movication. Just say it, Beca. What's the big deal?" _

"_Stop it, Jesse. You know what you're doing."_

"_You haven't been yourself all week! I'm just trying to make sense of what you're thinking, because I honestly have no clue. Do you want to break up with me or something?"_

"_What? No! Why would you even think that?" Beca asked._

"_Because I never know what you're thinking, Beca. Why have you been pulling away from me all week, then?" Jesse said, frustratingly running his hands over his face._

"_I- I don't know," she stuttered. "I just needed some space, okay? Why are you always so pushy?"_

"_I think I have a right to know what the hell's running through my girlfriend's mind when she's barely talking to me. Why can't you just tell me what you're thinking?" he asked quietly. "Why does everything always have to have a hidden meaning with you?" _

_Beca pressed her lips tightly together and looked anywhere but at him. "I get it. I'm not as open as you are, Jesse. Okay? But at least I don't try to push anyone into anything they aren't ready for. You always do that." _

_That wasn't exactly fair, but she was too angry to take it back and Jesse's eyes had already hardened, anyway. _

"_You're right. I am pushy. And I usually never have any trouble opening up to people, but that keeps me from being a coward. I don't hold myself back and sometimes, I wish you'd do the same."_

_She didn't know what to respond to that. He had basically called her a coward and she was too upset to say anything. He had even done it in that quiet voice of his. Their big arguments always ended that way; they would start off as shouting matches and then end with both of them speaking in quiet tones. That was how they knew they would be angry at each other for a while. _

"_Bye, Jesse."_

_As she walked out the door, she wondered how long 'a while' would be. _

* * *

Of course, Jesse had tried calling her first. He knew how she had taken his statement and had tried to talk to her during the weekend, but she had – surprise, surprise – shut him out. Completely.

Fat Amy had respected the fact that she hadn't wanted to see him, but had not exactly been subtle in hinting that Beca should answer his calls or the door whenever Jesse dropped by. Aubrey and Chloe had been texting her nonstop, asking her if they had resolved their silly fight yet. The Bellas had eyed her skeptically when she had tried to assure them she was fine at rehearsal yesterday.

No one believed her. But she _is_ fine. Forget the fact that she's stacking CDs so roughly, she can hear wood splintering and feel Luke's winces all the way from the booth. Forget the fact that she hadn't seen the point in putting on her ear spike or wearing her makeup as dark as it should be. Forget the fact that she feels like crap. It means nothing.

"Beca."

Another CD stacked.

"Beca."

Another loud smack.

"Could you please turn around and look at me?"

More wood splinters.

"We need to talk about this. You can't ignore me forever."

"Watch me."

She winces because she just proved his point and can practically feel him grinning victoriously at her back. She frowns as she reaches for another CD and once again, tries to make the smacking sound louder than the last. Apparently, though, the wooden shelves are angry with her and decide to make her day even crappier by giving her a splinter. Beca can't contain the surprised yelp as she feels a sharp pain in her finger.

"Bec?" Jesse scurries over and goes to stand at her side, reaching for her hand.

Beca pulls it back against her chest and keeps her gaze on the shelves, determined not to look at him. _Great_. This was just what she needed. She _hates _splinters; they usually never come out and the small pain is enough to annoy the hell out of her.

"Let me see," Jesse says. Beca ignores him as she tries to pick it out with her other hand. She frowns as she examines it. At least it's a big one; small ones are worse. "Don't squeeze it; it's not going to come out that way." He snatches her hand and grips it gently with his own when she tries to pull it away.

"As least it's a big one," he murmurs as he starts pulling out the splinter with two finger tips. His gaze is tender as he patiently pulls it out bit by bit and Beca has to force herself to look away from his face. It reminds her of the time she had fractured her ankle; how he had worried over her and taken care of her. But she's still angry, so she shouldn't be enjoying his attentions.

Stupid Jesse.

"There," he says softly, throwing out the splinter. "You should wash the skin so it won't get infected. We already know the desk is not a safe hygiene zone, there's a possibility the shelves might be contaminated, too," he jokes.

"Yeah," she says quietly. She's too busy watching his thumb gently run over the sore skin on her finger. She can feel him staring at the side of her face, though, so she reluctantly pulls her hand away and plants a scowl on her face. "Thanks," she says, turning away from him. She ignores his frustrated sigh and reaches back into the box for more CDs.

"Beca, please tell me you're not seriously going to ignore me again."

She doesn't say anything as she keeps stacking; this time, though, she does it considerably gentler. She really doesn't want more wood to splinter.

Beca thinks Jesse's finally decided to leave her alone when he doesn't say anything after a couple of minutes. Next thing she knows, the CD's taken out of her grasp and she's suddenly airborne. All she can let out is a shocked gasp as Jesse throws her over his shoulder and grabs their bags.

"We'll see you later, Luke. We have things to discuss," He calls over his shoulder as he walks out of the station. Beca barely has time to look up to see Luke give them a stunned wave and then they're passing the receptionist's desk, who, thankfully, isn't there to witness her humiliation.

She finally gets her voice back as he walks out into open air. "Jesse! Let me down! You idiot!" She knows she's giving him a hard time when she hears him grunt from the force of her struggles.

"You won't talk to me on your own. You won't answer my calls or the door when I stop by your room, and if it wasn't for work, I'd probably never see you. I don't know what else to do, Beca," he says, walking toward the quad.

"How about letting me down," she grunts. Her boyfriend is an _idiot_. She hates him. And she hates the fact that the sight of his nice butt is lessening her anger. Damn that fine butt.

Jesse shakes his head. "I'll put you down when we reach my dorm." By this point, Beca's resignedly stopped struggling and is now instead glaring at his butt with her arms crossed, which is a pretty funny image. Well, she knew she couldn't avoid him forever, but she had hoped to at least last until Friday.

"I hate you," she says, burying her face in his lower back.

"I know," he replies, kissing the side of her jean-clad hip.

"Did you just kiss my butt?" Beca asks amused.

"I wasn't aiming for it originally, but I have no complaints." She can practically feel his cheeky grin and rolls her eyes.

They get to his dorm pretty soon but Jesse decides to wait until they get to his room to let her down. Beca's face is flushed with embarrassment because of all the stares she had felt on the way over. She waves at Benji who's staring at them amusedly as they enter the room.

"Hey, Beca! Haven't seen you around for a while," he says happily.

Beca smiles back at him once she's placed back on safe ground. "Hey, Benji. It's good to see you, too." She looks around the room, not having realized how much she missed the cave of dorkiness. And, you know, she might also miss Jesse's side of the room because it smells like him, and the large t-shirt she wears to bed might be losing his scent already.

"Well, I'm gonna go. I have class to get to," Benji says once he's gotten the hint from Jesse, who's tilting his head toward the door. "Bye, guys!" He nods at Jesse's grateful smile and Beca's quiet reply as he walks out the door.

Jesse walks over to his desk chair as he gestures at Beca to take a seat on his bed. She remains standing, though, preferring to look nervously around the room. She isn't ready for this conversation.

Jesse clears his throat. "I'm sorry." Her head snaps toward him. "You were right; I did push you. I was just angry because you were avoiding me and I didn't know what I did. At some point, I did think you were going to break up with me or something." He gets up from the chair and starts pacing the floor. "I thought that maybe your feelings had changed and I didn't want to face that. I didn't mean to call you a coward-"

"But you weren't wrong, Jesse," Beca says, finally taking a seat on his bed. "I was avoiding you, but it wasn't your fault. I was just frustrated because every time, _every time_, I tried to say it, it jus- it never came out right. And I just wanted to work up the nerve to say it, but I didn't realize I was hurting you in the process."

It was true, the week before their fight had been a trial of failures. The most awful event she can remember is when she had tried to tell him at a bake-off fundraiser the a-capella groups had put together, only to get hit in the face with a chocolate frosted cupcake, courtesy of Fat Amy, who had decided to start a cake fight. They hadn't raised any money that day, and everyone had frosting in their hair for days afterwards.

Then, two days later, she had determinedly gone over to the Treble house, where she knew Jesse was watching movies with the guys and Donald, who had been visiting them.

That had also been an utter disaster.

* * *

"_But we have to watch it," cried Unicycle._

"_We are not watching porn, dude," said Donald. "That's just weird."_

"_It'll be funny."_

"_It's weird."_

"_And it's not like we'll be insulting the sensibilities of any females whatsoever. There aren't any here," Unicycle said victoriously._

_Jesse ran his hand over his face, "As proud as I am of you using such big words, Uni, I agree with Donald. It's weird."_

"_You guys are such wussies. Let's just watch the beginning. My bro said that it's some of the dumbest shit he had ever seen," Unicycle said, pressing play._

"_Pornos can be dumb?" Kolio asked Brandon, who just shrugged. Benji was already covering his eyes and turning away from the TV, while Donald and Jesse were grimacing._

_Meanwhile, Beca was walking up the front steps with Lilly, who had decided to come with her because she wanted to see Donald. _

_Beca was through with waiting for the right place and the right time; she was never able to say it then. No, this time, she was filled with adrenaline from rehearsal and she had been thinking about Jesse, so she needed to tell him now, before she lost her nerve._

_The two Bellas frown as they walk in through the unlocked door and hear inappropriate noises coming from the living room. _

"_I didn't believe Fat Amy when she said the Trebles had massive orgies, but now," Lilly said with her eyes wide. Beca shushes her and grabs her arm to pull her into the living room. _

"_What the hel-" she's cut off as all the boys' eyes widen and they leap into action. Jesse jumps over the couch to run over and pull Beca into him, shielding her eyes and dropping to the floor, ignoring her call of 'Dude!' and taking the brunt of the fall. Lilly lets out a small squeak as she's tackled onto the couch by Donald, who quickly wraps his sweatshirt over her head to shield her from the inappropriate images playing on the TV screen. "I told you it wasn't a good idea!" He yells at Unicycle._

"_It's just amateur porn!" Unicycle rolled his eyes and turned the TV off._

* * *

Yeah. She's not hoping for a repeat of that. The awkwardness that had surrounded the people involved in the _incident _had been worse than the time Aubrey had forced all of the Bellas to participate in a weird ritual to praise the a-ca gods or whatever. That had also been creepy.

So now she knows that she should probably wait for the right place and the right time. See, it wasn't that she was scared anymore. Now, it was more like the universe was trying to tell her that she wasn't meant to say it.

"Say what?"

Beca is shaken out of her musings and looks up at Jesse confusedly. "What?"

"Say what?" he asks with a hopeful look on his face, referring to her last statement.

Beca feels a blush overtake her face and looks away from his hopeful eyes. "That-um, I- wait. Oh crap," she gulps. Now she's the one pacing; she's also waving her arms around frantically but Jesse has no intention of pointing this out to her because it's too amusing.

"Okay, okay. Look, I never want you to think that my feelings about you will change. I mean, maybe they'll get stronger because you have a habit of doing that to me; you just make me love you more each day. I didn't think that was possible before but you've already proven me wrong on so many things." She's pretty sure she's freaking out right now. "And I never know how to deal with it. It scares me, sometimes. And I don't _need _you, exactly. I've been alone before, I know how to be alone; I've learned how to deal with it. I'm not gonna say that I can't live without you or anything; because I_ can_…I just don't want to. Because I love you. And even though you annoy the hell out of me sometimes and it just astounds me how different we are and yet how compatible, and even though I'm not sure about anything anymore, like LA or how deeply I still want to resent my dad, I'm still pretty sure of you. I don't want to wake up one day without knowing that you're still gonna be there singing cheesy show tunes or grinning at me or just acting like the nerd that you are. So, maybe I do need you. But the most important thing for me is that I _want _you there. With me. For a long time. I wish I knew how to tell you how much you actually mean to me, but I suck at this and-" she takes a deep breath to calm down her racing heart beat.

She's a bit scared to look at his face right now; she doesn't know what kind of crap actually came out of her mouth. Beca gathers her hair at one side of her neck and takes another breath before turning around to face him. She lets out a surprised squeak when she finds him standing closer than she had anticipated and then quickly clears her throat because she did not just _squeak_.

Jesse's grinning at her. Why is he grinning at her? What did she say?

"I love you, too."

Beca feels her mouth go dry and opens her mouth to finally, _finally_ say it, but as she replays his words over in her head, she notices the 'too' at the end. She furrows her brow and looks up at him expectantly.

"You said it," Jesse says softly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Twice." There's pure joy in his eyes and she can feel a smile tugging at her lips from just looking at him. Damn him. Look at what's he's done to her.

"Oh," she says, surprised at herself. "Good." Then she grabs the back of his neck and presses her lips to his. They're taking their time, just enjoying the way Jesse's arms are holding her against him and the way her thumb is rubbing along his jawline. She runs her fingers through his hair as he starts trailing kisses down her neck.

"I take it you're not mad at me, anymore?" He whispers, moving his mouth up to her ear.

Beca huffs, "I was never really mad at you, just annoyed with myself."

"Well, you said it. _Twice_," Jesse says with a smug grin, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Yeah, well, don't expect me to say it again anytime soon," Beca says pulling away from him and smirking.

Jesse's eyes have a glint in them. "We'll see," he says hoisting her up so her legs wrap around his waist and carrying her over to the bed.

"Sure we will-" Her sentence ends in a moan and she inwardly curses her nerd. She's bound to say it.

* * *

**So, I thought that this would be the last chapter, but now I'm not so sure. I think I can come up with one more, though I have no idea how yet.**

**I hope you guys liked the 'I love you' , I kind of wanted to make it awkward but still meaningful and blah, I don't know what I did there.**

**Anyway, review? **


	7. Easy to feel

**Last chapter! I'm gonna miss writing this story.**

* * *

_A month later – Saturday morning_

She's groggy as she wakes up, squinting her eyes up at the sunlight shining through the window. Honestly, can't he go one day without the sun's rays blasting onto his face to wake him up? She shouldn't even be up this early; it's a _Saturday_, for God's sake.

Her annoyance quickly turns into confusion as she realizes that the breath hitting the back of her neck and the arm lying lazily across her waist are both absent. She looks over her shoulder and frowns at the cold, empty side of the bed and then promptly rolls over to bury her face in his pillow. She's definitely going to start using his shampoo; why is it that men always have better-smelling shampoos than women?

Beca's ears perk up when she hears his voice coming through the hallway. He's singing Lumineer's _Ho Hey_ loudly, like a total dork. She hears the door open but prefers to stay face-down on the bed. He throws something on his desk chair; maybe a towel? He likes taking early Saturday morning showers, the weirdo. Soon enough, she feels the bed dip down and a hand moving her hair off her shoulder so that he could lay a kiss there.

"Are you awake?" Jesse mumbles against her skin. Beca gives a noncommittal hum and yields to the arm around her waist tugging her closer to him without removing her nose from his pillow. She knows he wants her to turn around, but unless he thinks of a way to bathe the room in complete darkness, she's not moving.

"Beca," he chuckles. "You're going to have to face sunlight at some point during the day."

She groans, but finally relents and allows him to turn her around.

"Good morning, beautiful," Jesse says with a cheeky grin, pushing strands of hair away from her face as she rolls her eyes at him. "No wonder you're so pale. I think you'd avoid any source of light all day if you could."

"Shut up," she mutters as she pulls him down for a morning kiss. His skin's cool from his shower and she squeaks as freezing droplets of water fall on her cheek from his wet hair. "Why the heck do you take cold showers?" She asks once they pull away.

Jesse shrugs. "They wake me up. Besides, it's the reason I have such amazing skin and hair. You're just jealous," he jokes.

"Yes, I am so jealous," Beca says dryly. "Please, I beg of you, teach me all of your secrets."

"I'd be happy to. But if I do that then we need to always take showers together from now on; just so I can be sure that you're following all of the beauty secrets I will soon grace you with."

"Sounds awesome," she says, planting a disinterested look on her face.

"I'm glad you still retain your ability to be sarcastic in the mornings."

"It's a gift. Don't be jealous because it's not something I can teach you. You have to be born with it."

"Then at least our a-ca children will have it," Jesse says seriously.

"If we're lucky. Worst case scenario, they inherit your weird quirks and none of my talent. That'll be a problem."

"I think you mean, _your _weird quirks and none of _my _talent. That means that we'll probably have tiny vampire children with multiple piercings and tattoos."

Beca makes a face at him and rolls her eyes when he sticks his tongue out at her. "Dork."

"Weirdo."

"Nerd."

"Vampire chick."

"Wanna-be Broadway star."

"Little person."

"Movie fanatic."

"_Lover_."

She tries to shove him off the bed at that one, but he purposely goes slack on top of her and his weight is too much. "Fatty," she says laughing and gasping for breath.

Jesse props himself up with his elbows and Beca laughs at the insulted look on his face. "I am _not _fat. This is all muscle right here." He narrows his eyes when Beca raises a dubious eyebrow at him. "Want me to prove it to you? 'Cause I think you might need a cold shower as well. I could carry you over there if you'd like."

He holds back a self-satisfied grin when Beca quickly shakes her head and squeezes his biceps. "I believe you, this is definitely all muscle."

"Told you," he says satisfactorily. "Now, all joking aside, what should we do today?"

"Let's stay in bed," Beca says stretching out on the sheets.

"We did that yesterday and the day before that. I don't think we have the excuse of being jet-lag anymore. Now, it's just called 'being lazy'." Jesse humors her anyway by plopping down next to her.

"Speaking of, how was your winter break? I forgot to ask since we've been…busy," she turns on her side and props her head up on one hand to look at him.

Jesse smiles, "It was good. I think every Swanson living in the States came over to our house on Christmas. You should've been there."

Beca shrugs, "I hadn't spent the holidays with my dad in a while. And Sheila wasn't that bad, though she did try to get me some jewelry from Tiffany's as a 'small gift'. That was scary. And unnecessarily expensive. Good thing my dad convinced her to go for some ear phones instead. Though I think those were expensive, too," she winces.

Jesse snorts, "Figures you wouldn't want jewelry. Did you like my present?" He asks with an eager look on his face. He pouts when Beca bursts into laughter.

"You got us 'his and hers' pijamas, weirdo. Did you pick them out yourself?" She asks smiling.

"My taste is incredible. And the color red is perfect for both our skin tones," he smirks.

"Don't think I didn't notice the small 'Treble Makers' printed on the back. Did you like my gift?"

"Oh yeah. I will now forever be a 'Barden Bella' boxer man. Thank you for that. My cousins saw those; they'll never let that go," he says wincing.

She smirks, "We did agree on gag gifts."

"Yeah, but next year, I get to buy you a real present and you can't complain," Jesse says, grabbing her hand and playing with her fingers.

Next year. Good, so they were on the same page then.

"Okay," she says softly. She's not going to complain. She wants to get him a real present, too. And she's glad that Jesse's already thinking of their future Christmas's together; it's a certainty that only he can assure her of. She had missed him these past few weeks and had never been more thankful for Skype. They even got to talk on Christmas Eve, once she locked herself in the bathroom with her laptop and he snuck away to an empty room at his aunt's house. Beca had really enjoyed chatting with him while he wore an over-the-top, ridiculous Christmas sweater his parents had forced on him. The first five minutes of their conversation had been spent with her laughing her head off, and Jesse huffing and making mock-angry faces at her.

They're contentedly lying nose-to-nose on the bed, Beca with her eyes closed and Jesse humming and intertwining their fingers. The moment is broken when her stomach rumbles.

Jesse chuckles. "Hungry?"

Beca opens one eye to look at him and replies, "Sure. Why don't you go get breakfast while I wait here?"

"And be your personal room service? No, thank you," he says, getting up from bed and pulling her up by the hands.

Beca groans as she sits up and is handed her clothes. She changes out of his shirt while he collects his wallet and then proceeds to drag herself off the bed to go brush her teeth. And now out into freaking daylight. Maybe she really is a vampire or something.

* * *

They're waiting in line at the 'crepes and waffles' diner on campus. She's leaning against his side, texting Amy back to let her know that she'll be there to meet with the Bellas at Lilly's dorm room tomorrow. She's missed those awesome nerds, too.

Jesse's hands are tapping in rhythm against her hip and his eyes are searching the menu up on the board, next to the diner cart. "I think I want the 'Chocolate Truffle Waffle'. You?"

Beca looks up at the board and her eyes are immediately drawn to her favorite. "The 'Mickey Mouse Fun House'," she deadpans and smirks lightly when Jesse suppresses a chuckle against her hair.

She puts her phone away once she reads Amy's reply and leans her whole weight against Jesse as she wraps both arms around his waist. He stumbles back, not expecting it and pinches her waist in retaliation. She can feel him grinning into her hair and smiles as the thought that always lingers in the back of her mind becomes a top priority again.

She tilts her head up and murmurs against his ear, "I love you."

* * *

She doesn't say it often, but he doesn't mind. What he likes the most is that she says it when he least expects it; like now, as they're waiting in line for breakfast. Most of the time, it's at completely random intervals. It's almost never in a romantic setting, the kind that's perfect for a rom-com, where they're all alone and everything's quiet. It isn't necessary for them to say it then. They know already, they can tell in every brush of the lips or stroke of the arm; this is when they least need the words because it's so easy to just feel them instead.

So Beca says it in between laughs in the auditorium when they're having lunch, or against his neck at the quad while they're listening to music together. And these mean the most to him; he remembers each and every one of them. Sure, deep conversation can bring forth an 'I love you' from both of their mouths, but the fact that Beca can tell him at random interludes when she's happy and content and carefree, means that she doesn't need a serious setting to let him know, because the feeling now comes to her as easy as it does to him.

Jesse runs his nose up her throat, slowly over her cheek, up to her ear, his lips reaching her earlobe and placing a kiss there. "And I love you," he murmurs.

He feels her smile against his cheek and his chest warms because he swears he feels it against his heart, too.

* * *

**The End! So...**

**Review?**


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